Meditation: The Unknown Discipline

During my lunch break on July 31st, I drove out to Percy Priest Lake. There is nice little park setting where people can get out and walk to the lake’s edge, feed the ducks and geese and enjoy the shade of some mature shade trees. I sat there for 45 minutes allowing my mind to fill with the sounds of the water; the feel of the breeze through the car windows; and the children squealing with delight. I began to simply dwell on a tree in the park. I noticed its height and strength. I examined the intricate detail of the bark. I recognized that the grass below its large branches was greener and more vibrant than that directly exposed to the sun. I was filled with the awe of my God. I began to understand that God’s power and beauty are veiled in his creation. With a few simple sights and sounds found in an insignificant park in middle Tennessee the God of the universe could overwhelm my mind. It reminds me of my children. When they were very young, but old enough to begin to respond to my loving communication, they would giggle and laugh at my face or a sound I’d make. I could get them into a hysterical frenzy of laughter. Without notice, however, their laughter would turn to tears. They were over-stimulated. A baby can take only so much visual stimulation before it grows overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed that day in the park. Just a few of the sights and sounds of my Father caused me to go from laughter and wonder to tears. I think I will visit that park more often. Meditation has been a missing discipline in my life; I never realized the potential for discovering God in more concrete way.

Reasoned Concern

I have a personality that feels a lot of guilt. My response to the grace of God drives me to want to help others, work in the church, respond to every phone call, etc. But as I read Richard Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline, I realized that I cannot meet every need. There are too many people who have “fell among thieves” for this Samaritan to handle. I am very deficient in the area of service and desire to do more, but I know my personality and my tendency toward extreme. So, how do I reasonably approach the discipline of service?

I need to remember that I'm not omnipresent. I cannot be everywhere at once. So, when I choose to serve because of my concern for others, I natural cut off other opportunities to serve. For example, I cannot fill my 4:30 - 6:00 time slot with two acts of service.

A "reasoned concern" for others recognizes this fact and measures my responsibility to others. I can and will say "no" to requests for service. When should this occur? That is, when two acts of service are competing for the same timeslot; how should I choose which to do?

First, I must be walking in the Spirit. I cannot enter into the disciplines without the Spirit of God or they will turn into pietistic actions that have no spiritual significance. In the past when I've developed a discipline I quickly begin to compare my self to others. This has created an unrealistic demand (or a law) that I explicitly or implicitly place on them. I begin to fill big in God - within a few hours, days, weeks I fall hard and cannot see anything for the dirt (this happens mostly in the discipline of study). So, Spirit lead service is essential.

Second, if my service for others begins to impact my family negatively I need to consider that it’s unreasonable. If my wife says, "you care more about **fill in the blank** than you do me and the children", then I need to consider that my acts of service are not reasonable. So, does my family feel safe and cared for? This is a reasonable question. (Now, on this point I’ve placed too much emphasis, at times, on my family and left the responsibility to serve on others (one of my guilt areas).

Third, this one is painful for me; do I gravitate to acts of service that are visible? Am I concerned about the "big deal" or can I serve in secret? Anyone who knows me knows that I'm visible. I'm not a demon in this area, but I recognize I’ve focused more on the visible. I’ve failed to balance my acts of service between the visible and the hidden; this needs to be resolved (the reason for my post – extraverted thinking requires it). So, I should gravitate to the hidden, invisible, yet relevant acts of service. (I say relevant because what I sometimes consider a hidden act of service in reality has no benefit to anyone).

Finally, I need to balance the cautions above. I can cloak my desire not to serve with so many "reasons" that I never do. It will not hurt my family to spend a couple Saturdays a month at the mission; to sit with a friend in need; or to visit the convalescent hospital on a week night. These are good and important. If I can, through the Spirit (from the heart) balance my service to others with a tendency toward the hidden acts of service than I have shown "reasoned concern" for others.